The 4 Wounds That Prevent You From Being Yourself In 2022
Approach
“Our ego does everything it can so that we do not see our wounds, Online Personality Development Classes in Chandigarh because we have given it this mandate unconsciously”.
Lise Bourbeau considers that each of us lives with his cracks , his weaknesses and tries to hide them, in front of others and himself, instead of accepting them to better face them. Thus, a betrayal, a feeling of abandonment, or a lack of love can condition our whole life if we are not aware of it.
Hurt #1: Rejection
The problem of the one who felt rejected
“The role of the same-sex parent is to teach us to love, to love ourselves, and to give love. The parent of the opposite sex teaches us to let ourselves be love and to receive love”. The reject usually has a problem with the parent of the same sex as him by whom he felt reject. The fugitive wants at all costs to have the love of this parent and will be able to go so far as to hate him, if this one does not show him affection “It is a great disappoint love which turns into hatred”
The mask he puts on
The rejected wears the mask of FUYANT , develop to respond to this feeling of rejection. He will build an imaginary world, will tend to be elsewhere, to dream. Paradoxically, Online Personality Development Classes in Chandigarh it also seeks to show that it exists, in its own way: the author speaks of the case of a little girl who, wanting to be sure of her parents’ love, hid in a cupboard, to that they are worried about his disappearance.
His relationship with his parents
With the parent of the opposite sex, the avoidant is afraid of rejecting himself, so he will put on manners, not be totally himself, in the hope of not disappointing. And if he is reject by this parent or another person of the opposite sex, he will think that he has something to do with it.
His characteristics
The fugitive prefers not to attach himself to material things , which would prevent him from fleeing to his liking. However, sex is experience by the fugitive as something very material, not very spiritual. The leakers will therefore run away from sex, or subconsciously manage to be with someone who is also running away from fatih escort it.
The fugitive arranges for the circumstances to prove him right he will do everything to be reject, without knowing it, by constantly devaluing himself, he does not understand that anyone can love him. And when someone gets attach to him, he doesn’t believe that person, Online Personality Development Classes in Chandigarh so he will reject himself to “scuttle the situation”.
The Runaway’s Greatest Fear
The fleeing one is afraid… of panic . If he knows that a situation will embarrass him, he will prefer not to confront the situation, to flee it, to hide. He tends to make a world of the slightest problem and will not want to face it.
Hurt #2: Abandonment
The problem of the one who felt abandoned
The wound of abandonment is different from that of rejection. Abandonment is when you feel abandon for someone or something else : a mother who works too much, a father who focuses on the youngest of the family,…
The mask he puts on
To protect themselves, those who are afraid of abandonment put on the mask of DEPENDENCY. The dependent constantly needs support, he does not feel complete if he is alone.
His relationship with his parents
The wound of abandonment is related to the parent of the opposite sex who, in the eyes of the abandoned, gave him no effective nourishment.
The fear of abandonment is sometimes double by a fear of rejection: we also feel abandon by the parent of the opposite sex because he does nothing against the rejection of the parent of the same sex.
Dependent mothers need their child very much to be happy, Online Personality Development Classes in Chandigarh and they do not fail to make their little one feel it.
His characteristics
The addict is most apt to become a victim because he is willing to get himself into trouble just to draw attention to himself.
- He dramatises everything. His problems become almost life-saving for him, because they allow him to find the support he values so much.
- He may seem lazy , when he simply finds it difficult to get down to work or do activities on his own.
- He tends to appear warm, friendly, Online Personality Development Classes in Chandigarh so that others do not abandon him.
- The dependent woman has a strong need to feel sexually desired : she thinks that she is more important in the eyes of her man.
The Addict’s Greatest Fear
His greatest fear is loneliness , and he is willing to make many sacrifices to avoid it, which can trick others into thinking he enjoys suffering. This type of person often has trouble seeing that their relationship is not going well, they prefer to hide the truth.
Wound #3: Humiliation
The problem of the one who felt humiliated
The person feels humiliated by their parents, they are even ashamed of their own behaviour . She felt a great lack of freedom, as if her parents controlled everything (her diet for example).
The mask he puts on
Its mask is MASOCHISM . The person seeks to harm themselves, to shame themselves, before someone else does
His relationship with his parents
The masochist seeks at all costs to please the parent who took care of his physical development. He wants to have the same desires as him, wants to please him or, at least, not to shame him.
The masochist’s greatest fear
His greatest fear is freedom : he would be afraid of not knowing how to manage it alone, of doing shameful things, so he unconsciously creates constraints for himself.
Wound n° 4: betrayal
The problem of the one who felt betrayed
Those people who had or still have a strong Oedipus complex. The child felt that his parent of the opposite sex, with whom he had a close relationship, Online Personality Development Classes in Chandigarh particularly needed him. Then those ties broke, because of that parent.
The mask he puts on
The mask of the betrayed one is CONTROL .
His characteristics
The controller tries to respect his commitment to the maximum, he tries to be faithful in everything. Very demanding with himself, he likes to show it to others and prove to them that he is invincible.
- He has very strong opinions , and sometimes tries to impose them on others, he is not very tolerant.
- It tends to understand faster than others and can’t stand it taking time to explain something.
- He doesn’t have much patience with others.
- The controller also seeks to control his future, so he is never in the present moment.
- And if things aren’t as he predicted, he panics.
- He struggles with laziness and only rests once the feeling of the job perfectly done has been accomplished.
The Controller’s Greatest Fear
His greatest fear is ” dissociation “, separation. He is both afraid of being betrayed and of being considered a traitor. The controllers therefore attract only unstable relationships, without commitment, so as not to have to know these situations which frighten them. Paradoxically, even if the controlling person wants everything…to control, he is afraid to commit, Online Personality Development Classes in Chandigarh because a subsequent disengagement seems unthinkable to him.
